35. User Experience designer and web/mobile software architect. Upbeat nihilism, mostly.
| Me: | Why would you need to buy snake food? Does your lizard eat-- |
|---|---|
| Him: | There are 6 pythons hidden throughout this room. |
| Me: | Oh. Okay. |
Stern daddy looks
There’s no way to outflank me on Scruff or Grindr with snark - I have perfected either a clueless persona or a beyond polite persona, ensuring that every snark attempt ends either in “sorry” or “thank you”.
Why even? My thumbs are tired, TYVM.
Do you think an internet dating profile of “I figured out how to pay bills and save for the future at the same time, and now I’d like to turn my attention to not dying alone” will be appropriate?
I don’t know, I’m feeling good about it.
officialkylieminoguedragqueen:
i bought a bag of those tiny apples because regular size apples feel like such a commitment
So a hawk attacked and bloodied someone at work today. Now THAT is raising the executive park game.
Canary Outtake for New York Magazine
why would you ever outtake a canary? she cannot take a bad picture!
WHO IS SHE
(via banji-effect)
(via ruinedchildhood)